1 Peter 3:7

You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.

Nick started out by reviewing the purposes of marriage:

·         Security – historically it was a family decision because it effected the whole family 

·         Soul mate – today we look for someone to fulfill our needs and base marriage on romantic love.  Statistics show that this type of marriage only lasts three years +/-

·         Biblically – it is for Kingdom advancement.  It is “Gospel Enactment”, refer to Ephesians 5:25ff it is to be a model of Christ’s love and sacrifice for the church.  Marriage is to mirror God’s love and plan for the world.  It should reflect the nature of the Trinity in relationship; equal in value but willing to submit to each other.

Peter gives husbands two main criteria:

·         Be Considerate

·         Treat your wife with Respect

v  How do you show your wife consideration?

(Hint: Nick gave the definition that it literally means “to know”)

Nick talked about “benign neglect” what does that look like in your life?

Do you need to change it?  If so, how can you change it?

We are all guilty of shaking our heads and saying something to the effect of, “I’ll never understand _____!

How well do you understand your wife?

How well do you know her?  Can you really understand her if you don’t know her?

v  The second command was to treat your wife with respect.  God commands husbands to honor their wives. 

What are some other commands that involve honor?

Does this apply to wives?

An important thought that Nick stated to be contemplated:  “Women value themselves by how they think others value them”.  What do you think about that statement and how does it affect your perception of your wife?

How can husbands show that they hold their wife’s in great esteem?

1Peter 3:7

Col 3:19

Gen 2:23; Mt 19:5

Pr 5:19; Mal 2:14, 15

Gen 2:24; Mt 19:3-9

1Sam 1:8

Gen 31:4-7

1Co 7:11, 12, 14, 16

Compare the following passages that provide examples of marriage and make a list of positives and negatives in each and apply it to your marriage relationship:

ü  Genesis 24:67

ü  Esther 1:10-11

ü  Mathew 1:19

ü  1Sa 1:4,5

ü  1Ki 11:1

v  Why should you follow Peter’s advice?

Wives are physically weaker.  It isn’t that she is not physically fit or mentally strong, but that she is more tender and delicate; less capable of enduring fatigue and stress; less adapted to the rough and stormy scenes of life. She may have mental endowments equal to her husband’s; she may have moral qualities in every way superior; but God has made her with a more delicate frame, a more fragile structure.

Wives are spiritual equals.  Do you believe your wife is equal to you?  Do you look at your marriage relationship in comparison to the Trinity?

God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit are all equal in value and importance although they have different roles.  Isn’t this an awesome way to think of marriage?

v  Why would you want to follow Peter’s advice?

Do you think your prayers are being ignored? Or are you always thinking God isn’t hearing you?

If there is something wrong between believing husbands and wife’s, their prayers will be hindered; and quite possibly trouble in the home will result. Peter assumes that they do not simply live together; they also pray together! Jesus promised where ever two or three are gathered together….implying unity of spirit. If there isn’t unity in your prayers who is God going to bless?

It is indicative of your relationship with God.  Your love for God is shown in your love for others, especially your spouse and family.  If you aren’t loving your wife it is evidence of a fracture in your relationship with God.

Go back and read Ephesians 5:25-28.  Is your relationship with your wife a testimony of Christ’s love for the church?

An additional note:

The word that keeps coming to mind for me is “cherish”. 

The dictionary defines Cherish: 

1. to hold or treat as dear; feel love for

2. to care for tenderly; nurture

3. to cling fondly or inveterately to

1. implies giving affection, care, or shelter to something; suggests regarding or treating something as an object of affection or as valuable

2. implies sustaining and nourishing something with care, esp. in order to promote, increase, or strengthen it

There is an old song by a group called The Association, in which a few lines go:

“Cherish is the word I use to describe…
All the feeling that I have hiding here for you inside….
You don't know how many times I've wished that I had told you…”

Don’t let that last line be true of you…..tell her now!